Let’s be F.L.Y. (5 tips)

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What? Let’s be WHAT? Well…let’s be F.L.Y.!

It stands for “FIRST LOVE YOU“. 🙂

In other words, love yourself before you love others. It seems selfish and it seems so easy but it’s definitely not.

Hang on though because I am getting ahead of myself.

When the year started I set my mind to three specific goals that I want to achieve this year. All of them focusing on becoming ME (because you know…I’m POSSIBLE!).

First, I want to write something and post it here as much as I can (really, just more than I did last year, LOL) about what I am working on or doing that is making my life better and more abundant (because that is what this is all about, the whole point actually). It seems like a great way of focusing on the positive in an authentic way that I feel will help others. It also is an amazing outlet for me. So writing this is helping me achieve that goal!

Second, I want to take really great care of myself–and I don’t just mean physically because you already know I am very focused on that. I mean like saying “NO!” to things that don’t serve me emotionally. Or being super mindful of how I spend my time. Or being super mindful WHO I spend my time with. Or being super mindful of how I spend my words.

Basically, being super mindful about my emotional health. If I’ve learned one thing, a healthy mind leads to a healthy body and an abundance of whatever it is I want in life.

Third (and this is the kicker), I want to love myself unconditionally…

That last one sucks. Yes, it SUCKS!

Why? Let me count the ways.

First of all, we are forever flawed because we are this crazy five letter word spelled H-U-M-A-N.

We make mistakes.

We are not perfect.

We compare ourselves to others and only see our own flaws.

And then we feel bad about these things that make us human. In a sense we often feel bad about BEING human.

Feeling bad about being human SUCKS.

Second of all, on top of being human (and really because of it), our culture somehow makes us think that we should not focus on ourselves but should be selfless and serve others. It’s odd because so much of what we see in the media is about self-indulgence yet there is this undercurrent that makes us feel that it’s wrong because it’s selfish. I think many of us translate that in our lives into guilt.

And guilt SUCKS.

Who’s with me? Being human is hard and it often sucks and that sucks.

OK, so back to my original point and what I’m trying to get at. Here’s the story. I spent the last few weeks of 2014 looking through old photos on our computer because I wanted to make a gift for my family (which I never ended up doing but it will happen, maybe not soon…but it will).

As I looked at these pictures of a 35, 32, 37, 29 year old me, I was got so ANGRY with myself that I had spent so much of that time not being F.L.Y!

I have spent so much time thinking I needed to look or be or feel a certain way when the whole time I already did in so many ways!

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had phases where I’ve loved myself but they’ve quite frankly been rare and definitely inconsistent. You know how it is. We’re sucky human, right? It’s crazy. Are you with me?

Anyway, I realized that in 3 years or 5 years or 10 years I’ll probably do the same thing about my 40-ish self that I have been doing for as long as I can remember…IF I don’t start being F.L.Y. all the time, starting now. Not tomorrow, not next week, but nowtodaythis moment.

We are FULL of possibilities. And I have learned through the crazy ups and the scary downs that those possibilities bear sweeter fruit when we are giving and loving to ourselves FIRST and do it in a consistent and meaningful way.

But you can’t just say it, you have to enact it–you have to LIVE it.

How do you do this? Well, here are my top 5 tips for being F.L.Y. during this month of love. All tried and true because let me tell you, I’ve been through some crap and I’ve tried it all.

  1. Surround yourself with friends that make you feel great. No no, I don’t mean the ones who are just blowing you-know-what up your you-know-what. I mean REAL, RAW, GREAT friends. The ones who tell you the truth and are 100% by your side–not just in the good time but in the worst of times too.
  2. EAT WELL! Seriously, cut out the crap. I know, I know, you’ve heard this before but you’d be amazed about the effects that food have on our emotional well being, let alone our physical health. As we become more wise with years it’s more and more important to ingest only the things that are from nature. Cut out the lattes, nix the fake and refined sugars and the processed foods and eat for your life. Here’s a great article about eating for your “age”.
  3. Get Sleep. If we don’t get enough sleep then our stress levels go up. If our stress levels go up then we are distracted by being stressed (think about it, stress is the biggest distraction) and if that is the case then how can we be F.L.Y.? So, get your ZZZ’s.
  4. Be grateful. FOR EVERYTHING. I mean, even the stuff that is hard and the stuff that might not be so comfortable. Let yourself just have gratitude and abundance will come right back to you. (Don’t believe me?)
  5. And last but not least, believe in yourself. Yes…believe in YOU and if you do this, then others will as well. When others believe in you, you can do and achieve anything.

So, what are you waiting for? Let’s go F.L.Y. together.

XO – Marcia

Be strong. Be awesome. Be YOU.