15 Aug I had to stop breathing…
… so I could wake up. So, not literal stop breathing – but close to it. It was as if I’ve been swimming for years but slowly sinking. Occasionally coming up for brilliant moments of greatness (or air). Somehow I kept it all together – it looked good from the outside. *I always tell my students to smile in postures that are hard to make them look easy* — so I suppose I was practicing what I preach! (that’s at least good :))
Sometimes the only way to catch your breath is to lose it completely
And so I did. For about 5 months I’ve been unable to breath. It looked like this.
– I couldn’t get out of bed
– I cried almost every day
– My body hurt
– I would just be mad.
Up until the past 3 weeks that was pretty much a regular occurance for me. Exhausted. Until all I could do was just cry. I mean, cry at everything. Cry when someone asked me how I was. Cry when I looked at a puppy or a baby. Cry when I went to brush my teeth and then looked myself straight in the eye.
What was happening to me? – menopause? (no, no too young). Really bad PMS? Potentially. But no, I was drowning. Literally.
For months I pull inspiration cards. I don’t pull them daily, or even weekly – but when the mood strikes me. The 3 cards I’ve pulled in the past 5 months are:
I create my own happily after after
I am FREE to be me
Abundance FLOWS easily to me
So, what was happening to me. Those 3 little things were about to happen. My crying, the depths of despair were the trigger that it was time. It was time to let go of the thing that was holding me back. Stopping me dead in my tracks. Keeping me in a holding pattern. Allowing me to be like a bouy.
The ultimate breakthrough was like crashing into a brick wall. It was ugly. But once I had that moment – it was that slam into the wall that made me realize what I had to do. So I did it. I’m now – FREE to be me, I will create my own happily ever after and abundance will FLOW to me.
I can’t wait to continue to share with you what it is I will be doing. Where I will be doing it. Who will benefit etc! I’ve been planting these seeds, but I haven’t been tending to them as I’ve been busy trying to not drown.
You feel like you are drowning? It’s ok – hang on… your brick wall break through is coming.
XO – M