05 Aug Letting yourself down
Over the spring I pushed through a lot. I traveled for my business, I took on new tasks at my day job, My girls schedules got very busy and I just pushed right through. I kept thinking – summer, summer will be the time I catch up, take a break, get ahead, plan, prepare…
So then came summer.
All those things I wanted to do, haven’t happened. Well, not exactly, You see, I got done exactly what I needed to get done but compared to what I did during the Spring — I compared it to my “plan” – so, it seemed like nothing was happening.
Small steps vs big leaps. Slower breaths vs faster pace. In the process of it all I lost focus. I lost my connection to what grounds me. I got in my head and I got lost.
So I sat there – disappointed.
But why? Well, here’s why. We are continually pushing ourselves to achieve more, do more. Success seems to be measured by how busy you are; where you are traveling to; the size of your house; your paycheck. They are all AWESOME things, but sometimes.. no, ALL THE TIME they get in the way of realizing the actual successes you had.
Last summer I could barely do anything. I could barely walk. I was tired. I had been sick – so I gave myself a break. This year, I was healthy, I could walk, I wasn’t tired nor was I sick… so wait a minute…
Why was this not a monumental success? Well, guess what – it is!
It took me turning myself upside down, letting myself cry, letting the disappointment go to realize that I actually have accomplished a LOT and here is what it is:
I overcame a mystery illness that almost took my life. I dedicated myself to a HEALTHIER way of living by removing people, things, crap out of my life so it was simpler. I allowed myself to take breaks when I needed to. I let myself cry and be vulnerable. I let myself fall off course so I could put myself back on it. I put things aside. I cancelled plans. I slowed down. I enjoyed the sunshine. I stopped complaining about the little things (well, i’m almost there, but for the most part this is true)...
You see, this right here is what I woke up today realizing is true success. And then I realized another thing — Sometimes we have to feel let down in order to get back up and realize that everything we really need is right here in front of us – and if we LISTEN – we know all the answers.
Till next time my friends — Go be AWESOME. Go be STRONG. Go be YOU.
XO – M