Bad days happen. So what?!
Then, someone tries to tell you that you have no right to be having a bad day.
And guess what that does–it makes the bad day worse.
Have you been here before? I am sure you have. I think we all have.
Did you know that when someone dismisses your feelings it is really because it makes THEM uncomfortable?
I recently had this happen to me.
Things were just mounting up on me and man, I was just having a bad day.
Wanted to be left alone.
Wanted to cry.
Just wanted to be.
And I was told that it really wasn’t that bad. That I needed to just “let it go”….
Woah, wait right there… (slam on the brakes and let’s back up)…. that phrase–LET IT GO–is so powerful in so many ways.
But used in the wrong moment it can be extremely damaging.
Especially if you are NEEDING to process a situation. If you are NEEDING to just feel your shit.
Lately, when I teach yoga, I have stopped suggesting to everyone to “leave your shit outside”.
No, no no…keep it. Use it, work with it.
Let go of the stuff that is BLOCKING you from feeling it–not the shit itself but whatever is keeping you from working it out, moving through it.
From diving deep into the WHY behind your deepest darkest bad-assy-ness of days. Dig into why you want to shut the world out for a day or two and just cry.
But really, when it’s NOT OK is when someone else doesn’t understand it. When someone else doesn’t like the fact that you are upset.
This is a hard place to dance for sure.
I know when I see someone in this state, all I want to do is shake them out of it. Their energy is heavy, and it’s affecting mine.
But what if we could, just for one moment sit back and say, “OK, I understand. I’m sorry and what can i do to make you feel better right now?”
Instead of trying to tell them they need an attitude adjustment. And then the trickier part of it is if the person who is “in a mood” says “Just leave me alone–nothing, I don’t want to talk about it…”
You just have to say “OK, I love you, I’m here for you when you are ready to talk… I’ll listen.”
So have your bad day.
And be reminded of this when someone you love is having a bad day–to honor it and give them space to just process.
There might be someone really magical coming out on the other side of this story.
XO — M